Faith Knows
by Terry Chriswell
April 11, 2004
Uncovered naked standing shaking it holds me in its hand;
Else cloaked by fear or grief or shame, faith knows just where I stand.
The bitter years they took their toll but faith it did not flee;
While I took the lowest roads, it took its time with me.
And then I thought I raised myself to higher wiser height;
But faith it did the lifting up and brought me to its light.
Ever present it does shine to never turn away;
Even though there are times my faith may surely stray.
Quietly a lesson comes unexpected in the day;
When child’s laughter or sweet birdsong pierces worldly fray.
Reflection soon I can’t ignore of faith’s gentle demand;
Leads me to be grateful then that faith knows where I stand.
Moving Toward Happy Book Blog
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Guilt and Regrets
Well. How long has it been since I have written a creative word? Months. Before the holidays. For something that I consider to be extremely important to my destiny and purpose for being, I sure have fallen short.
Maybe I am wrong for thinking writing is part of my purpose. When I am not doing it, I am thinking that I should be doing it. I am feeling guilty for not doing it. I regret any time I have "wasted" and not written.
Here's the interesting thing: while you try to figure out why you aren't doing something that is important to you, you are learning more about the thing you are putting off.
For instance, there was a great speech at church Sunday, comparing toasters to human beings. Toaster don't whine and moan if you've unplugged them or haven't used them for a while, they just go back to doing their job - making bread into toast. They don't analyze the situation; they go back to doing what they were meant to do. Another great resource I am listening to: Mike Dooley from TUT: The Universe; Manifesting Change. He make some very interesting points about having the end in mind, and letting the universe worry about the hows. What he does say is we still have to head toward our dreams, however small. Like the toaster, it still has to heat up, right?
As human beings, who hasn't temporarily stopped doing something they felt important? Who hasn't fallen off the diet, healthy food, exercise wagon, among other things? I feel like these are the moments when we continue to find our strength and learn what's really important, and resources come to us to help us continue on the path of that dream...whether it's getting healthy or writing a book, learning new habits or attempting to find your destiny.
So if you are in the "holding pattern" of something in your life, I like the idea that you don't have to feel guilty because you can always jump back into your mission, knowing that we've learned something else along the way...we still really want that thing we are striving after. If we didn't we wouldn't be thinking of it or feeling guilty about it. Which means it's time to heat up and make the toast.
Maybe I am wrong for thinking writing is part of my purpose. When I am not doing it, I am thinking that I should be doing it. I am feeling guilty for not doing it. I regret any time I have "wasted" and not written.
Here's the interesting thing: while you try to figure out why you aren't doing something that is important to you, you are learning more about the thing you are putting off.
For instance, there was a great speech at church Sunday, comparing toasters to human beings. Toaster don't whine and moan if you've unplugged them or haven't used them for a while, they just go back to doing their job - making bread into toast. They don't analyze the situation; they go back to doing what they were meant to do. Another great resource I am listening to: Mike Dooley from TUT: The Universe; Manifesting Change. He make some very interesting points about having the end in mind, and letting the universe worry about the hows. What he does say is we still have to head toward our dreams, however small. Like the toaster, it still has to heat up, right?
As human beings, who hasn't temporarily stopped doing something they felt important? Who hasn't fallen off the diet, healthy food, exercise wagon, among other things? I feel like these are the moments when we continue to find our strength and learn what's really important, and resources come to us to help us continue on the path of that dream...whether it's getting healthy or writing a book, learning new habits or attempting to find your destiny.
So if you are in the "holding pattern" of something in your life, I like the idea that you don't have to feel guilty because you can always jump back into your mission, knowing that we've learned something else along the way...we still really want that thing we are striving after. If we didn't we wouldn't be thinking of it or feeling guilty about it. Which means it's time to heat up and make the toast.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Birthdays
Yesterday was my 45th birthday, and I am feeling a little blue today.
I had planned to spend the morning getting a couple things done, and then have some time to myself to hike, generally contemplate the mysteries of life and be grateful that I was here on this earth.
While these thoughts rolled around in my head, guess what? The day got away from me; I worked all day. Thankfully, I had a reason to quit and get ready as Doug took me out to a delicious dinner at The Fort in Morrison (highly recommended).
I don't recall on past birthdays that I have felt this need to connect with myself, and if I have done so. I don't know whether it's the age, whether it's the life I am living now, whether it's the fact that I am in the mode of reading spiritual stuff (that comes and goes every few months and then I need to go back to Harry Potter or Steven King), or maybe it's a combination of everything.
Regardless, I am taking my day back! I am heading off to an appointment now, and then I will not even turn on the computer. I am heading to the adjacent hills to revel in the beauty of my surroundings, bless my parents for having made me, and thank the Universe for helping me to be, at 45 ripe years old, where I am today.
Next year, I am keeping my calendar wide open, and maybe planning a trip so I am not tempted to work. As a friend once said to me, "The work will be sitting on your desk tomorrow, too."
I feel happier just having the plan!! Thanks for letting me share with you!
I had planned to spend the morning getting a couple things done, and then have some time to myself to hike, generally contemplate the mysteries of life and be grateful that I was here on this earth.
While these thoughts rolled around in my head, guess what? The day got away from me; I worked all day. Thankfully, I had a reason to quit and get ready as Doug took me out to a delicious dinner at The Fort in Morrison (highly recommended).
I don't recall on past birthdays that I have felt this need to connect with myself, and if I have done so. I don't know whether it's the age, whether it's the life I am living now, whether it's the fact that I am in the mode of reading spiritual stuff (that comes and goes every few months and then I need to go back to Harry Potter or Steven King), or maybe it's a combination of everything.
Regardless, I am taking my day back! I am heading off to an appointment now, and then I will not even turn on the computer. I am heading to the adjacent hills to revel in the beauty of my surroundings, bless my parents for having made me, and thank the Universe for helping me to be, at 45 ripe years old, where I am today.
Next year, I am keeping my calendar wide open, and maybe planning a trip so I am not tempted to work. As a friend once said to me, "The work will be sitting on your desk tomorrow, too."
I feel happier just having the plan!! Thanks for letting me share with you!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Gratitude
Doug (mostly) and I wrote what I think was one of our best publisher's letters for the November issue. It is about being grateful, especially around this beautiful time of year, and getting into the spirit of Thanksgiving.
I drove home from a satisfying, busy day today and casually looked at the golden leaves mixed with the quickly fading green, the gliding white clouds, bright blue sky behind them and the imposing foothills of Golden.
That feeling of overwhelming gratitude welled up in my heart, and I couldn't help but say, "Thank you for everything" out loud. I wanted to stay with this feeling for as long as I could and savor it as deeply as possible. I think it lasted for about 3 minutes.
I wish I could capture that feeling in a bottle and take it out at those times when I'm not feeling well, or scared about the bills to pay, or driving in traffic. Heck, I wish I could take it out the other 99% of the time. How great would it be to live in a world where people felt grateful for just even something little, like the clothes on their back, or the food they are eating....every day. It certainly would be a paradigm shift from a world where, more often, we focus on our problems than our blessings.
I drove home from a satisfying, busy day today and casually looked at the golden leaves mixed with the quickly fading green, the gliding white clouds, bright blue sky behind them and the imposing foothills of Golden.
That feeling of overwhelming gratitude welled up in my heart, and I couldn't help but say, "Thank you for everything" out loud. I wanted to stay with this feeling for as long as I could and savor it as deeply as possible. I think it lasted for about 3 minutes.
I wish I could capture that feeling in a bottle and take it out at those times when I'm not feeling well, or scared about the bills to pay, or driving in traffic. Heck, I wish I could take it out the other 99% of the time. How great would it be to live in a world where people felt grateful for just even something little, like the clothes on their back, or the food they are eating....every day. It certainly would be a paradigm shift from a world where, more often, we focus on our problems than our blessings.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
A Few Deep Breaths
In this past hectic month, I have taken barely any time to myself, which means the important things haven't gotten done. What little time I did take was to sit in complete stupefication at the television, recovering from overbusyness, an exhausted body and a drained mind.
Yoga was about the only thing I did regularly, and I missed quite a few days of it. Glad at least that vow hasn't been completely broken. Although, healthy eating did go to hell, exercise took a hiatus, intimacy went out the window, and my brain functioned on hyperdrive to produce, react and complete only those things that were necessary to get done. Then I turned to television in the evening, after I swore last month I wasn't going to keep that habit up. I feel like I let myself down.
Now I am sitting here on a beautiful day, taking in the sunshine on the back porch after a hard hike, again willing myself to eat better, exercise more often and take more time out for writing, reflection and getting the big picture view. Those are the things that make me feel more myself, make me feel more connected to people and the world I live in, and I actually tend to make more things happen because I've thought about it in an unhurried, stressless fashion which means I make less mistakes.
I might have it easy...no kids, a flexible partner and a lazy old dog. While it's understandable that owning your own business can be quite demanding, why can't I make my personal priorities demand more of me? They are just as important, and maybe even more so. A friend said recently just to be okay with it all, but I have to disagree. If I keep being okay with letting myself down, then I will keep doing it with a bigger bag of Cheetos in my lap. Instead I would rather give myself a stern talking to, and hope I take it to heart.
Next month, I am vowing to keep to my promise of no habitual tv watching and taking some time out every day, even just 10 minutes to sit in silence and slow things down a bit to catch my breath. I'd rather end the month with a deep satisfied breath.
Yoga was about the only thing I did regularly, and I missed quite a few days of it. Glad at least that vow hasn't been completely broken. Although, healthy eating did go to hell, exercise took a hiatus, intimacy went out the window, and my brain functioned on hyperdrive to produce, react and complete only those things that were necessary to get done. Then I turned to television in the evening, after I swore last month I wasn't going to keep that habit up. I feel like I let myself down.
Now I am sitting here on a beautiful day, taking in the sunshine on the back porch after a hard hike, again willing myself to eat better, exercise more often and take more time out for writing, reflection and getting the big picture view. Those are the things that make me feel more myself, make me feel more connected to people and the world I live in, and I actually tend to make more things happen because I've thought about it in an unhurried, stressless fashion which means I make less mistakes.
I might have it easy...no kids, a flexible partner and a lazy old dog. While it's understandable that owning your own business can be quite demanding, why can't I make my personal priorities demand more of me? They are just as important, and maybe even more so. A friend said recently just to be okay with it all, but I have to disagree. If I keep being okay with letting myself down, then I will keep doing it with a bigger bag of Cheetos in my lap. Instead I would rather give myself a stern talking to, and hope I take it to heart.
Next month, I am vowing to keep to my promise of no habitual tv watching and taking some time out every day, even just 10 minutes to sit in silence and slow things down a bit to catch my breath. I'd rather end the month with a deep satisfied breath.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Patience
I had a lot of time to think to myself this Labor Day weekend, while Doug was off kayaking and I was hanging with Ms. Gracie Sheds-a-lot Poopypants, German Shepherd Extraordinaire.
I am re-reading Conversations with God, a book where for the first time I ever understood that perhaps we are in a playground and can manifest whatever we desire or dream.
The thing is that we have to be patient and thoughtful about how those dreams manifest.
I was saying to Doug how ironic it is that back in 2003 or so I turned down a lucrative job because I wanted to be in publishing. Had nary an offer or sparkle about how to make a living at it, just thought that was where I needed to be. Followed my heart. Dreamed my dream.
Went on interviews. Got shot down. No hope in sight. Moved onto "the job that pays the bills." Still thought about it though. All the time.
Today, in 2010, Doug and I own a magazine that we publish. I am surrounded by people publishing books. It was a complete surprise when Doug turned to me with an ad for our magazine franchise and said, "What do you think?" At that time, the two of us were thinking, "What are we going to do that excites and energizes us for the next step of our life?"
Isn't that funny? What do I think? "Absolutely, no question, we must do it."
And there, 7 or so years later, after I had the experiences I needed to have to do this, I am living my dream.
So be patient. Never give up dreaming. It might not be now, but it definitely will BE.
I am re-reading Conversations with God, a book where for the first time I ever understood that perhaps we are in a playground and can manifest whatever we desire or dream.
The thing is that we have to be patient and thoughtful about how those dreams manifest.
I was saying to Doug how ironic it is that back in 2003 or so I turned down a lucrative job because I wanted to be in publishing. Had nary an offer or sparkle about how to make a living at it, just thought that was where I needed to be. Followed my heart. Dreamed my dream.
Went on interviews. Got shot down. No hope in sight. Moved onto "the job that pays the bills." Still thought about it though. All the time.
Today, in 2010, Doug and I own a magazine that we publish. I am surrounded by people publishing books. It was a complete surprise when Doug turned to me with an ad for our magazine franchise and said, "What do you think?" At that time, the two of us were thinking, "What are we going to do that excites and energizes us for the next step of our life?"
Isn't that funny? What do I think? "Absolutely, no question, we must do it."
And there, 7 or so years later, after I had the experiences I needed to have to do this, I am living my dream.
So be patient. Never give up dreaming. It might not be now, but it definitely will BE.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Choices
This weekend in the paper there was a story about a woman who had parked her car on the side of the highway and walked into the lanes, getting hit by a truck and ending her life.
How sad is it that she didn't think she had any other choice to make? The truth is, there are always choices to be made, from what to eat for breakfast, to getting away from drugs or alcohol, to realizing that there are beautiful things for us in this world regardless of how bleak it looks today.
We must choose to find our happiness... in the smallest and largest sense...diligently, purposefully move toward happy. Who knows what might have awaited that woman had she chosen to move through her pain rather than be engulfed by it?
How sad is it that she didn't think she had any other choice to make? The truth is, there are always choices to be made, from what to eat for breakfast, to getting away from drugs or alcohol, to realizing that there are beautiful things for us in this world regardless of how bleak it looks today.
We must choose to find our happiness... in the smallest and largest sense...diligently, purposefully move toward happy. Who knows what might have awaited that woman had she chosen to move through her pain rather than be engulfed by it?
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