Done with Naysayers

I’ve always had a good-girl mentality. I want to be liked, I want to please, I want others to be happy with me, but there is always an undercurrent of want or need behind it. That for me is the mark of an inner child aspect who has not grown up.

Recently, my book club girlfriends have been talking about the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck.” My inner good girl wants to care, but the older I get, and the more divisive and painful the conversations are in this country, the less I want to give an eff.

Recently, an advertiser told us her ad wasn’t working in out magazine, but that wasn’t enough. She went off on a tangent of painful spewing, not just slapping our baby; practically burying it after torture.

I am so done with that crap.

We didn’t lash out in anger and pain, even though we wanted to. Man, the things she said hurt. We had many, many things we could tell her about her business, what we know, what we’ve heard. But frankly, all we saw was a woman in pain herself, scared and obviously over her head, worried about money, life, and living the illusion of a business she expects will last forever.

And I decided right then that I am no longer giving an eff about mean-spirited, fearful people who only want to blame, criticize and judge everyone else but themselves.

I feel a little self-righteous about not giving a crap, my head held firmly high and a flush in my cheeks. I don’t think that’s the way I want to go about letting go; after all they say when you have no emotion about it then you are really there. But right now, I’m glad I feel that buzz because it means I am defending something of which I am proud, of which I have worked SO VERY hard, something for which I have spent long hours, sleepless nights and received not as much reward as I would have hoped.  It means I give a crap about my livelihood and my baby, when I really didn’t think I did care so much.

We don’t deserve the kind of harsh “reality” this woman decided to impose on us, thinking only of herself. That’s the joke – metaphysical “mal”-practitioners claiming to do good and be good and contribute to the well-being of the planet. HA. I know who the do-gooders are on this planet; I have scores of friends in the metaphysical biz who really are that kind of person, and whom I try to emulate on days I’m not feeling all that loving.  I know the real deal when I see it.

If I were in a financial position where I could have fired her as an advertiser, I would have done it on the spot. It would have felt so good. But it was also good to take time to process it and get to a different place mentally and emotionally about it, so that I know now I will no longer tolerate naysayers.

You naysayers, complainers, criticizers, judgers and blamers can go spread your ill-will somewhere else. I’m not putting up with it anymore. I will cut you off, I will walk away. I don’t need more negativity in my life, and I certainly don’t need to be spending my time processing your rants so that I feel better. And hopefully, soon, when someone else decides to beat my baby, I won’t need time to process it; I really just won’t care, except to decide what I am going to say that won’t hurt your feelings the way you might have hurt mine, and where I am going to go to get away from you.

Think about it the next time you come across someone who needs to put you or someone or something you love down. It's really about them, but they want you to feel as bad as they do. Decide it's not going to work, that they can stay with their pain, while you go off and live a freer, happier life not giving a rat's behind.