Bitch and Moan

It’s now July, and I’m far behind where I promised myself I would be. The creative process can be a bitch, not only because sometimes you feel like you’ve run out of steam and you don’t know what else to say (my version of writer’s block) but because life gets in the way. I don’t know how anyone can do this with a full-time job and any semblance of “downtime.” I can’t imagine even starting this process with kids at home; thank God I don’t have that or I’d be complaining about that as well. Right now, it’s 5pm after a full day of work and I’m ready for dinner, a workout, a shower, a good book…reading it, not necessarily writing it!

My ego is also getting in the way and that nagging voice haunts me. It used to be, “Get up and write anything at all; don’t you want to be a writer?” and now it says “You better write that book, you won the ‘lottery’ from Hay House after all, you lazy shit.” Yes, I know and thanks, Brain, for the reminder of my inadequacies that go far beyond writing. The nagging is simply a reminder of my laziness, self-sabotage, procrastination, lack of motivation, simple-mindedness and yes, my love of sitting in front of the television in the evening watching Big Bang Theory and Warehouse 13 even though I have seen them all a thousand times. If I get bored of those, I’ll just watch my Blu-Ray Harry Potter DVDs for the millionth time. Or The Matrix. At least, I think, they are very inspiring for creatives like me. I remember an article my mother cut out for me once that was entitled, “I’d Rather Be Sharpening Pencils.” Yes, procrastination abounds among writers.

Why is the human Brain such an opposing force? Why, in one minute, can I be motivated and writing like my life depends on it because I want it so bad the idea of being an author leaves a taste in my mouth like the midnight chocolate buffet on a cruise? In the next minute, I feel like a worthless, deflated hunk of aging flesh with no more wits and energy about me than a houseplant. It ain’t fair.

It’s amazing that what I am writing about is what I’m trying to live. Moving toward happy is rather instinctual, but we still want someone to rescue us. Hence, I’ve bought a few lottery tickets in my time. It’s a study of a life being lived and learned. I’m working on it. Working on adjusting my attitude, because I believe in what I am writing and I believe spiritual dogma really does make a difference in life. Working on the actions I need to take to be happier, because you have to take action, whether it’s buying lottery tickets or writing essays rather than writing a chapter in my book....stay tuned for more essays on why I should be writing a chapter of my book rather than the essays! :-) 

‘I’ or ‘me’?

I've been taking some serious time-out to devote to working on my book and it's come with its own rewards and challenges. A multitude of fears have surfaced their ugly heads: fear of failure (who will I be if this book is terrible and I don't mean commercially - I mean what if I suck at writing?); fear of success (what if this becomes a best-seller and I'm expected to talk to audiences about happiness but I'm still figuring this out myself - can I be a beacon for others?); fear of rejection, humiliation, embarassment (no explanation needed!). I also feel at times I have nothing noteworthy to say; is that fear of myself?

Regardless, because the Runner-Up prize from Hay House is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, I feel like I have won the lottery. I must collect that prize! I'm now in the mode of forcing myself to sit my rear in a chair and write like the devil until I can't write anymore. Sometimes, after a long day of work, that's 5 minutes, but at least I did it. Sometimes, on a beautiful summer day out on the porch, it's 4 hours. That feels pretty good.

So today, I have confused myself with how to use "I" and "me" in sentences. And I thought maybe you might not be sure either. So that's today's lesson for us both!

from http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/words/i-or-me

The two personal pronouns I and me are often used wrongly, usually in sentences in which I is being used with another noun. Here are some tips to help you get it right:

• Use the pronoun I, along with other subjective pronouns (they are the subjects of verbs) such as we, he, she, you, and they, when the pronoun is the subject of a verb:

He went to bed.

We waited for the bus.

Clare and I are going for a coffee.

In the last example, the pronoun I, together with the proper noun Clare, forms the subject of the sentence, so you need to use I rather than me.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns (they are the objects of verbs and prepositions) such as us, him, her, you, and them,when the pronoun is the object of a verb:

Danny thanked them.

The dog followed John and me to the door.

In the last example, the pronoun me, together with the proper noun John, forms the object of the verbfollow, so you need to use me rather than I.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns such as us, him, her, you, and them,when the pronoun is the object of a preposition:

Rose spent the day with Jake and me.

Me, together with Jake, forms the object of the preposition with, so you need to use the pronoun merather than the pronoun I.

An easy way of making sure you’ve chosen the right pronoun is to see whether the sentence reads properly if you remove the additional noun:

√ I am going for a coffee	X Me am going for a coffee
√ Rose and I went for a coffee	X Rose and me went for a coffee
√ The dog followed me	X The dog followed I
√ Rose spent the day with me	X Rose spent the day with I

And from wikihow:

If you change the subject around to a different spot in the sentence, and make it about you and only you, you can easily spot the places where the wrong usage of "I" and "me" will make you sound bizarre.

• Examples:
• "Harry and me went to the store." (Change it around so that Harry's out of the picture and it's just about you - you would never say, "Me went to the store.")
• "Who's at the door?" You answer, "It's me." (No, no, no! You would really properly say, "It is I." Consider a related sentence: “That writer is me.” Try reversing the word order, and you end up with “Me am that writer.” You use nominative pronouns such as "I" after forms of “to be” (i.e. am, are, is,was, were, be, being, and been). The “to be” functions as an equal sign, so the nouns and pronouns on both sides of the “equal sign” are nominative.
• "The cake was made by Justin and I." (Would you ever say, "The cake was made by I"?)
• Have a great week!

Check it out! 24hoursofhappy.com

Happier people keep healthier as they age

Even when accounting for age, lifestyle and economic situation, happier people maintained better physical function as they grew older.

By

Bahar Gholipour, LiveScience

Tue, Jan 21, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Photo: Aletia/Shutterstock

Being healthy can make a person happy, but happiness itself may also lead to better health, according to a new study.

 

Researchers found that people who enjoy life tend to maintain better physical function than those who don't in daily activities as they age.

 

The study included more than 3,000 people age 60 and older living in England, and followed them for eight years. The study participants reported how much they enjoyed life by rating statements such as "I enjoy the things that I do," and "I enjoy being in the company of others." [7 Things That Will Make You Happy]

 

Using in-person interviews, the researchers examined whether participants experienced impairments in their daily activities, such as getting out of bed, getting dressed or bathing. They also gauged participants' walking speed with a gait test.

 

The results showed that happier people maintained better physical function as they aged, even when the researchers accounted for confounding factors such as age, healthier lifestyle and economic situation.

 

The unhappiest people in the study were about 80 percent more likely to develop impairments in daily functions, compared with the happiest, according to the study published on Jan. 20 in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

 

The researchers also found that happier people's walking speed declines at a slower rate than those who enjoy life less," said Andrew Steptoe, director of Institute of Epidemiology and Health Care at University College London.

 

"This is not because the happier people are in better health, or younger, or richer, or have more healthy lifestyles at the outset, since even when we take these factors into account, the relationship persists," Steptoe said.

 

The results also showed that the study participants with higher economic status and education, and those who were married and working, had higher levels of well-being.

 

As expected, poor health was linked to lower levels of happiness: People with chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, stroke and depression reported lower levels of enjoyment of life.

 

Researchers had previously shown that older people with greater enjoyment of life are more likely to survive over the next eight years, Steptoe said. The new findings show that "they also keep up better physical function," he said.

 

The study cannot confirm a cause-and-effect relationship between happiness and health, but adds to the evidence that enjoyment of life is relevant to the future disability and mobility of older people, according to the researchers.

 

"Efforts to enhance well-being at older ages may have benefits to society and health care systems," the researchers said.

 

Email Bahar Gholipour or follow her @alterwired. Follow us @LiveScience, Facebook &Google+. Original article on LiveScience.

Dreams Do Come True

I last wrote when I was about to submit my book proposal for Moving Toward Happy: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to a More Fulfilling Life, to Hay House as part of the Writer's Workshop, where they allowed all attendees to submit their proposals without an agent. That, in itself, was quite a gift!

I was beyond speechless when Hay House called me Monday, November 25 about 5pm to tell me I had won First Runner Up, with a Master Publishing Package from Balboa Press worth nearly $8,000!! (Yes, that deserves lots of exclamation points!!!)

I had signs from the Universe that made me believe this might be the turning point (the proposal was due on my birthday 10/28, and my badge number read 2828282 - some might dismiss that as mere coincidence but I absolutely couldn't). I had a shred of doubt of course; who wouldn't with a big deal like this? But winning First Runner Up has brought new meaning to the phrase "Dreams Do Come True."

Now, you might say it's just the second step (submitting it was the first) and I still have a long way to go, but to me, I have already won. I have been acknowledged, prized and congratulated not only by Hay House, but many friends and family. I have deepened my resolve to make "AUTHOR/SPEAKER" the adjective that goes automatically with "Terry Chriswell" and although I have bouts of paralyzing fear, I will advance confidently in the direction of my dreams and endeavor to live the life which I have imagined (placing myself directly into the quote from Henry David Thoreau.) I WILL meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I am making my dreams come true. How about you?

If you can, join me for my Moving Toward Happy Workshops March 15 and 22 in Lakewood CO! Check out www.movingtowardhappy.com.

The best is yet to come.