‘I’ or ‘me’?

I've been taking some serious time-out to devote to working on my book and it's come with its own rewards and challenges. A multitude of fears have surfaced their ugly heads: fear of failure (who will I be if this book is terrible and I don't mean commercially - I mean what if I suck at writing?); fear of success (what if this becomes a best-seller and I'm expected to talk to audiences about happiness but I'm still figuring this out myself - can I be a beacon for others?); fear of rejection, humiliation, embarassment (no explanation needed!). I also feel at times I have nothing noteworthy to say; is that fear of myself?

Regardless, because the Runner-Up prize from Hay House is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, I feel like I have won the lottery. I must collect that prize! I'm now in the mode of forcing myself to sit my rear in a chair and write like the devil until I can't write anymore. Sometimes, after a long day of work, that's 5 minutes, but at least I did it. Sometimes, on a beautiful summer day out on the porch, it's 4 hours. That feels pretty good.

So today, I have confused myself with how to use "I" and "me" in sentences. And I thought maybe you might not be sure either. So that's today's lesson for us both!

from http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/words/i-or-me

The two personal pronouns I and me are often used wrongly, usually in sentences in which I is being used with another noun. Here are some tips to help you get it right:

• Use the pronoun I, along with other subjective pronouns (they are the subjects of verbs) such as we, he, she, you, and they, when the pronoun is the subject of a verb:

He went to bed.

We waited for the bus.

Clare and I are going for a coffee.

In the last example, the pronoun I, together with the proper noun Clare, forms the subject of the sentence, so you need to use I rather than me.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns (they are the objects of verbs and prepositions) such as us, him, her, you, and them,when the pronoun is the object of a verb:

Danny thanked them.

The dog followed John and me to the door.

In the last example, the pronoun me, together with the proper noun John, forms the object of the verbfollow, so you need to use me rather than I.

• Use the pronoun me, along with other objective pronouns such as us, him, her, you, and them,when the pronoun is the object of a preposition:

Rose spent the day with Jake and me.

Me, together with Jake, forms the object of the preposition with, so you need to use the pronoun merather than the pronoun I.

An easy way of making sure you’ve chosen the right pronoun is to see whether the sentence reads properly if you remove the additional noun:

√ I am going for a coffee	X Me am going for a coffee
√ Rose and I went for a coffee	X Rose and me went for a coffee
√ The dog followed me	X The dog followed I
√ Rose spent the day with me	X Rose spent the day with I

And from wikihow:

If you change the subject around to a different spot in the sentence, and make it about you and only you, you can easily spot the places where the wrong usage of "I" and "me" will make you sound bizarre.

• Examples:
• "Harry and me went to the store." (Change it around so that Harry's out of the picture and it's just about you - you would never say, "Me went to the store.")
• "Who's at the door?" You answer, "It's me." (No, no, no! You would really properly say, "It is I." Consider a related sentence: “That writer is me.” Try reversing the word order, and you end up with “Me am that writer.” You use nominative pronouns such as "I" after forms of “to be” (i.e. am, are, is,was, were, be, being, and been). The “to be” functions as an equal sign, so the nouns and pronouns on both sides of the “equal sign” are nominative.
• "The cake was made by Justin and I." (Would you ever say, "The cake was made by I"?)
• Have a great week!

Check it out! 24hoursofhappy.com

Happier people keep healthier as they age

Even when accounting for age, lifestyle and economic situation, happier people maintained better physical function as they grew older.

By

Bahar Gholipour, LiveScience

Tue, Jan 21, 2014 at 2:32 PM

Photo: Aletia/Shutterstock

Being healthy can make a person happy, but happiness itself may also lead to better health, according to a new study.

 

Researchers found that people who enjoy life tend to maintain better physical function than those who don't in daily activities as they age.

 

The study included more than 3,000 people age 60 and older living in England, and followed them for eight years. The study participants reported how much they enjoyed life by rating statements such as "I enjoy the things that I do," and "I enjoy being in the company of others." [7 Things That Will Make You Happy]

 

Using in-person interviews, the researchers examined whether participants experienced impairments in their daily activities, such as getting out of bed, getting dressed or bathing. They also gauged participants' walking speed with a gait test.

 

The results showed that happier people maintained better physical function as they aged, even when the researchers accounted for confounding factors such as age, healthier lifestyle and economic situation.

 

The unhappiest people in the study were about 80 percent more likely to develop impairments in daily functions, compared with the happiest, according to the study published on Jan. 20 in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

 

The researchers also found that happier people's walking speed declines at a slower rate than those who enjoy life less," said Andrew Steptoe, director of Institute of Epidemiology and Health Care at University College London.

 

"This is not because the happier people are in better health, or younger, or richer, or have more healthy lifestyles at the outset, since even when we take these factors into account, the relationship persists," Steptoe said.

 

The results also showed that the study participants with higher economic status and education, and those who were married and working, had higher levels of well-being.

 

As expected, poor health was linked to lower levels of happiness: People with chronic illnesses such as heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, stroke and depression reported lower levels of enjoyment of life.

 

Researchers had previously shown that older people with greater enjoyment of life are more likely to survive over the next eight years, Steptoe said. The new findings show that "they also keep up better physical function," he said.

 

The study cannot confirm a cause-and-effect relationship between happiness and health, but adds to the evidence that enjoyment of life is relevant to the future disability and mobility of older people, according to the researchers.

 

"Efforts to enhance well-being at older ages may have benefits to society and health care systems," the researchers said.

 

Email Bahar Gholipour or follow her @alterwired. Follow us @LiveScience, Facebook &Google+. Original article on LiveScience.

Dreams Do Come True

I last wrote when I was about to submit my book proposal for Moving Toward Happy: A Practical and Spiritual Guide to a More Fulfilling Life, to Hay House as part of the Writer's Workshop, where they allowed all attendees to submit their proposals without an agent. That, in itself, was quite a gift!

I was beyond speechless when Hay House called me Monday, November 25 about 5pm to tell me I had won First Runner Up, with a Master Publishing Package from Balboa Press worth nearly $8,000!! (Yes, that deserves lots of exclamation points!!!)

I had signs from the Universe that made me believe this might be the turning point (the proposal was due on my birthday 10/28, and my badge number read 2828282 - some might dismiss that as mere coincidence but I absolutely couldn't). I had a shred of doubt of course; who wouldn't with a big deal like this? But winning First Runner Up has brought new meaning to the phrase "Dreams Do Come True."

Now, you might say it's just the second step (submitting it was the first) and I still have a long way to go, but to me, I have already won. I have been acknowledged, prized and congratulated not only by Hay House, but many friends and family. I have deepened my resolve to make "AUTHOR/SPEAKER" the adjective that goes automatically with "Terry Chriswell" and although I have bouts of paralyzing fear, I will advance confidently in the direction of my dreams and endeavor to live the life which I have imagined (placing myself directly into the quote from Henry David Thoreau.) I WILL meet with a success unexpected in common hours. I am making my dreams come true. How about you?

If you can, join me for my Moving Toward Happy Workshops March 15 and 22 in Lakewood CO! Check out www.movingtowardhappy.com.

The best is yet to come.

The 2-Year Gap

I was surprised to find that my last post was almost 2 years ago today. Clearly, I haven't looked at my posts in a long time, and I find it serendipitous that I looked at it today. Why? I jotted a note to myself the other day to remind me to write in my book proposal to Hay House that I actually have a blog. My book proposal that's due to Hay House on yes, my birthday Oct 28. 

I had the genuine good fortune to attend a seminar in April with Wayne Dyer and Hay House, which is allowing any participant at the writers' workshops around the country to submit a book proposal without an agent. There are 3 prizes - the top one a $10K advance and a book contract. I have my eye on that prize, but I won't be at all disappointed to have prizes 2 or 3 (self-publishing contracts with their sister company Balboa). And I certainly won't be disappointed to not win at all, since it's my first "trial by fire" of writing a book proposal at all.

It was an amazing number of "coincidences" - first that the book proposal is due on my birthday; that my badge number had "282828" in it and lastly that I met Wayne Dyer himself in the airport the next day, with both of us on our way to the coasts of Florida - Wayne to the East and me to the West. I mean, how could it be that the Universe wasn't telling me SOMETHING? Maybe it was just "shit or get off the pot already" which is why I am back blogging to begin with.
So yes, this enormous milestone of October 28 is not necessarily because of my 48th birthday which is lovely as birthdays go, but really because I am celebrating the fact that I shat and got off the pot, as it were.

The book is in the works, the proposal is almost done, the timing could not be more perfect. I am finally ready to shed the weight of fear and of dreams unfulfilled, to accept the criticism and barbs of those I care about and those I don't. I feel complete and whole enough to surf the wave of challenge and potential, of personal growth and courage and find out if my life's purpose is going to be endorsed by Hay House on November 28 with an announcement of the winners, or if I will have to wait. It's all good.

Another Birthday Come and Gone

After last year's birthday during which I worked the entire day, I vowed I wouldn't do that again. Not that working on your birthday is bad, but working all day is! It's just not a proper celebration of one's special day. And if you have a choice, like I do, I prefer to spend it in some sort of celebration. I'll admit, at 46, (AHHH! that's the first time I have written that!) I still like to hear Happy Birthday being sung to me over a cake with at least one candle. I also like to open cards and presents. I like to be pampered and feel taken care of.
I don't think that ever gets old (like I am). Don't get me wrong, if you forget my birthday or don't send a card, I won't sulk over it. After all, it's my day and like the rest of my life, I am responsible for it.
Assuming I was going to be alone this year, I took the bull by the horns and made plans to go to Devil's Thumb Spa and Ranch, about an hour and a half from where I live. Then we realized the dates were all mixed up and Doug's gig was off. Darn. I do miss him while I am here enjoying my little respite from the everyday, but I am glad I came.
I want to mark every birthday from here on out with something really different and special. It doesn't have to be fancy - God knows I am not a fancy girl. But I want to remember it, and the feeling that comes with being special for a day. Who knows how many birthdays I have left? Could be 50 more, could be 1. This might be the last one! If that's the case, and it's my time to go sometime in my 36th...whoops I mean 46th....year, then I am glad to have done my last one up in the celebratory style to which I wish I could have become accustomed.
Cheers and a happy birthday to everyone born on October 28!

Fate or Manifestation?

The other day my good friend and I were discussions all the information and teachings about manifesting your life. Our current lives, supposedly, is what we have wanted and made of it. And whatever we want, whether it's a car or a job or a bucket of money, can be manifested, perhaps in its/God's/The Universe's own good time, but it will happen.
There is also the "wisdom" that everything happens for a reason, you are where you are meant to be, etc.
That's a real dichotomy I don't understand...yet...and  maybe never will.
I know that manifesting does work, because Doug and I did a vision board months before any thoughts of Denver or publishing a magazine were a twinkle in our brains, and here we are living what we put on the vision board. Did we want all of it? Yes. Did we believe it could happen? Yes. It included happily driving to mountains with sun and following a future of prosperity, happiness, freedom, fulfillment and deepening love between us. While we didn't put on the vision board that we wanted increasingly difficult challenges, I can accept them and that those "opportunities" have made us better people and a better partnership.
So that's funny isn't it? It's where we are in every respect that has been a part of the manifestation but the journey has also been loaded with other complexities...does that mean all that has been fated so we can continue in our manifestation...but we had to learn some wisdom thru these circumstances to get there? I mean, I guess where would we be without differences of opinion, the irregular tide of finances, breakdowns and exhaustion? HA! I think I would be in a better place but I guess you never get to appreciate what you have unless you have had the opposite.
What I do believe is that the universe is always working in our favor, even though plenty of times it never looks that way. I can also say that I don't think we are going to know what's fate or manifestation unless we continue to manifest, and swim with the tide of our lives when it appears not to be what we wanted.
Just two short years ago, I never expected to be living  in Colorado, publishing a magazine and living with a man I adore. I bet next year I can say the same about plenty more things, and in 5 years, I probably won't even believe all the changes that will happen. I just know that I'm going to continue wishing on stars, buying lottery tickets and rolling with the punches, taking one day at a time. Whether you call it fate or manifestation, I'm not sure if matters, but I sure would like to win the lottery.