In this past hectic month, I have taken barely any time to myself, which means the important things haven't gotten done. What little time I did take was to sit in complete stupefication at the television, recovering from overbusyness, an exhausted body and a drained mind.
Yoga was about the only thing I did regularly, and I missed quite a few days of it. Glad at least that vow hasn't been completely broken. Although, healthy eating did go to hell, exercise took a hiatus, intimacy went out the window, and my brain functioned on hyperdrive to produce, react and complete only those things that were necessary to get done. Then I turned to television in the evening, after I swore last month I wasn't going to keep that habit up. I feel like I let myself down.
Now I am sitting here on a beautiful day, taking in the sunshine on the back porch after a hard hike, again willing myself to eat better, exercise more often and take more time out for writing, reflection and getting the big picture view. Those are the things that make me feel more myself, make me feel more connected to people and the world I live in, and I actually tend to make more things happen because I've thought about it in an unhurried, stressless fashion which means I make less mistakes.
I might have it easy...no kids, a flexible partner and a lazy old dog. While it's understandable that owning your own business can be quite demanding, why can't I make my personal priorities demand more of me? They are just as important, and maybe even more so. A friend said recently just to be okay with it all, but I have to disagree. If I keep being okay with letting myself down, then I will keep doing it with a bigger bag of Cheetos in my lap. Instead I would rather give myself a stern talking to, and hope I take it to heart.
Next month, I am vowing to keep to my promise of no habitual tv watching and taking some time out every day, even just 10 minutes to sit in silence and slow things down a bit to catch my breath. I'd rather end the month with a deep satisfied breath.
Terry,
ReplyDeleteBoy can I ever relate to this post. September was hectic for me as well, and many others too. It's almost like January in a way as people gear up for the final part of the year.
I tend to make the same habits - overwork myself, not do what's right for me, skip out on what I really care about. I've also been promising to take more "Andrea-time" and let the other stuff go. A full calendar next week and then I feel some openness, but committing to not committing to anything that's not self care. When I overwork myself, it has too many negative effects that isn't worth it in the long run.
It's a practice in which we must keep striving to become better at the dance.
Hi Terry! I was browsing through your posts and noticed what WONDERFUL subject titles you have ... A few deep breaths, Patience, Choices, Conscious Living ..... all INSPIRATIONAL .. I love it! Please keep writing and inspiring! Hugs from NY!
ReplyDeleteHi Terry, been there, done that!
ReplyDeleteLetting myself down is common for me, yet I am making steps to change that. I have vowed to write about play every Friday on my blog and now I am waking up thinking about how I am going to play each day. I have long lists of things to do, and now play is on the list too. Now it isn't yet at the top.... I am still working on that! Take care of yourself, give yourself time to play, and see how much easier it makes your work time.